An apology gift of bacon recipes.

I’m an ass. I don’t think I had many readers in my four-post life as a carniblogger, but I have been the ultimate in neglectful.  If this blog was my baby, the DCFS would have taken it ages ago and I’d be having a high profile trial where people boo and hiss at me when I walk up the courthouse steps.

I’m sorry.

As any person who has been neglectful in a relationship they still hope to continue, I offer pennance and gifts.  My gifts to you are two recipes involving bacon.

Bacon-Wrapped Dates With Goat Cheese


-1 lb. bacon

-1 small package (4 oz.) of goat cheese

-roughly 2 cups of pitted dates


Begin by placing the pound of pre-packaged bacon on a cutting board and using a sharp knife to cut the package in half across the middle, making each slice of bacon half-length.

Using a sharp paring knife or other kitchen knife, cut a lengthwise slit along one side of a date, so that the date can be opened into a “C” shape.  Using a butter knife, cut a small slice off the goat cheese.  Spread goat cheeese inside of the date and pinch the date closed again.  It’s okay if it doesn’t close completely around the date.  There’s not really a such thing as too much goat cheese, imo.

Place the date on the end of a half-slice of bacon and roll, securing with a toothpick.  Place rolls on a cookie sheet (one that has edges is better, because grease drips off the bacon).  Bake at 375 degrees for 15-20 minutes, depending on how crispy you like your bacon.  This can be broiled, too, but I have ADD and cannot watch food constantly, so baking is easier and yeilds similar results.

If you bring this to a party, they’ll be gone in 2 minutes or less.

Any leftover dates, I tend to leave laying around and if the boyfriend has a glass of wine, he eats them.  Extra goat cheese is great on those amazing little rosemary-garlic flavored Triscuits.


See? This feels better already.

Okay, so a few posts ago, I wrote about a bacon martini, which I wasn’t so sure about.  But today, I was looking up how to infuse vodka, and I came across this.  Apparently it’s for bloody marys.  Somehow, I was doof enough to forget that vodka is not just for martinis.  Vodka is for the breakfast drink of champions too.  And a bloody mary with bacon-flavored vodka?  Yeah, sign me the hell up.  I must buy a jar and some vodka stat.  I already have bacon, duh.  I may have neglected my carniblog, but I’m still me.

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